Divorce Myths and Common Misunderstandings: What You Really Need to Know

Divorce is often one of the most challenging experiences a person will face. Alongside the emotional impact of a relationship ending, there can be considerable uncertainty about what happens next, particularly when it comes to finances, children and the family home.

As a family solicitor, I regularly encounter misconceptions about divorce. Some arise from outdated information, others from well-meaning advice from friends and family, and some from what people see portrayed in the media.

Understanding what the law actually says can help you make informed decisions, avoid unnecessary conflict and approach the process with greater confidence.

As such, we thought it helpful for our readers to set out some of the most common divorce myths, and the reality behind them.

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Myth 1: The person who files for divorce first has the advantage

The law changed in April 2022 in England and Wales to a no-fault divorce system. This new law provides that neither spouse needs to prove wrongdoing, and applying for divorce first does not automatically give someone an advantage when financial matters or arrangements for children are decided.

The divorce application itself is separate from resolving financial claims and agreeing arrangements for children. These matters will be considered on their own circumstances and the relevant legal principles.
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Myth 2: Everything is divided 50/50 in a divorce

There is no automatic rule that every asset must be divided equally in every divorce.

The court considers the individual circumstances of the case, including the parties' financial resources, needs, responsibilities and other relevant statutory factors. The welfare of any minor children is also a primary consideration.

An equal division may be appropriate in some cases, but it is not a universal outcome. Pensions, property, income and other assets all need to be considered as part of the wider financial picture.
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Myth 3: If the house is in my spouse's name, I have no rights to it

Legal ownership is important, but it does not necessarily determine the outcome of financial proceedings on divorce.

Depending on the circumstances, the family home may need to be considered as part of the financial settlement even if it is registered in only one spouse's name. The nature of the parties' interests, the available assets and the family's needs will all be relevant.

It is important to obtain advice before assuming that the name on the title deed settles the issue.
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Myth 4: We have agreed everything, so we do not need a financial order

Reaching an agreement is an important step, but an informal agreement does not necessarily provide the same legal protection as a court approved financial order. This is something that we often come across in family law and the best advice is to ensure the agreement is incorporated into an order and approved by the Court.  

A properly drafted and approved order can record the agreement and, where appropriate, deal with financial claims between the parties.  

Even where a separation is amicable, it is worth understanding the legal implications before assuming that everything is permanently settled.

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Myth 5: The children will automatically live with their mother

There is no automatic rule that children must live with their mother following separation.

Decisions about a child's living arrangements and time with each parent should focus on the child's welfare and individual circumstances. Parents are encouraged to reach workable arrangements where possible, but the child's needs must remain central focus of both parents.

Every family is different, and arrangements that work well for one child may not be appropriate for another.
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Myth 6: I must wait until I am separated before speaking to a solicitor

You do not need to wait until you have formally separated or started divorce proceedings before seeking legal advice.

An early conversation can help you understand your options, consider the financial implications, identify documents you may need and plan for practical matters such as housing and childcare.

Seeking advice does not mean you have committed yourself to divorce. It can simply help you understand your position before making important decisions.

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Myth 7: Once the divorce is final, all financial ties automatically end

Obtaining a final divorce order does not necessarily bring every financial claim between former spouses to an end.

Depending on the circumstances, financial claims may remain unresolved unless they have been dealt with through an appropriate order or other legally effective arrangement. Pensions, property, maintenance and future claims may all need careful consideration.

It is therefore important to understand the distinction between legally ending a marriage and resolving the financial consequences of that marriage.
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The importance of getting the right advice

Divorce is rarely straightforward, and what applies to one couple may not apply to another. Misunderstandings about the law can lead to unnecessary anxiety, unrealistic expectations and decisions that could have long-term consequences.

The most important thing to remember is that you do not need to have all the answers before seeking advice. Understanding your options early can help you make decisions that are informed, proportionate and appropriate for your circumstances.

A family solicitor can explain the relevant legal principles, help you understand the issues that need to be addressed and guide you through the process with clarity and care.

Call us today on 0203 504 9138, or email us at info@djfsolicitors.co.uk to schedule your free initial telephone consultation.

Article by Neelam Mall, Senior Family Solicitor at DJF Solicitors